I am so proud of myself! I wrote about 700 words over the weekend for my nameless novel. Add that to my useless 'incomprehenisble' prologue and i'm well over the 1,ooo mark! they say it gets easier from here on out.
Seriously though, (i am serious about that word count) I was on the writers draft and i was reading a post about an author feeling like a failure for not reaching her goal of finishing her first draft by december. It reminded my of what happened about two days ago. I found this old notebook of mine with a list of deadlines and goals etc. Talk about depressing - the only thing i accomplished was finishing my degree!
My room is full of these 'good intention' notes and notebooks. Goals, aims, deadlines etc that i will never ever keep to! it is depressing to think about.
Anyhoo, the authors post describes what i felt a few weeks ago about my 'masterpiece'. I spent time trying to do lists of character bios etc which i had heard were good to do. I had set a number of words to do per day cause thats another tip i heard. I set deadlines for specific chapters..BLAH BLAH BLAH.......
what was i at?? First i lost the plot (literally) - i was swamping myself with stress of deadlines for something i didn't even have a plot for. I'm not good with deadlines. So why did i think it would work when it comes to my writing? i realised i'm not that sort of writer. My writing was suffering and the creative juices weren't flowing and i kept thinking 'this should be easier' I couldn't even think of what my first chapter should be.
So, I had an epiphany ..eventually.......(after i killed a few trees with all those notes) I am not an organised person. Why would i be a organised writer??
They say your room says alot about you.....my mother would say it says SLOB but i see 'creative clutter'. I have a method to my madness so shouldn't it work for my writing?
Yes. I think so.
I don't know if this sounds stupid or not but, I said to myself I'm not going to force it. I have all the time in the world to write this novel. I'm only 21. why am i putting extra pressure on myself (when i've enough already).
so i decided that when something pops into my head like a scene or whatever i'll jot it down, and when i'm good and ready i'll sit down and write it roughly. Took a week, was sitting on the train and this scene literally popped into my head I jotted the details down and left it for ages, but i just let my thoughts mull on it.
Sat down and wrote the 1st draft today thinking i'll just write this scene. i wrote more than i thought i would, and i know what my 1st chapter will be now.
Granted i don;t know where i'm headed after that - i have a rough plot but screw it - this loose sort of attitude is fun. It sounds mad i know but i have no idea where this story is headed so its exciting when something pops into my head.
So the moral of this post?
Don't be something your not! I am not an organised person in any aspect of my life. I'm a messy clutterer who walks around with pen on her face, wears odd socks and doesn;t care.
I don't put titles on my work, feel quesy even stamping chapter numbers on things. Like my work, i'm a constant 'work in progress' and a deadline free zone!