Friday, June 19, 2009
Warning: Diary-esque entry with rambling nonsense thoughts.
I often wonder 'what if. . . ' but recently since i started my current course i've been pondering it more and more.
As a teenager (although i still believe subconsciously i'm 17) i never knew 'what i wanted to be' and as a person i know i am a bit of a doormat and i know i've been influenced strongly by my parents and family's opinion of what a 'suitable job' should be.
I wonder have i missed my chance?
Should i have done Art instead of chemistry (because my mother thought pharmacy would be a good career)? I never had a love for art or thought i had any sort of talent in that area, but certainly chemistry was the bane of my existence in secondary (high school).
Should i have done drama in university? Done more with my acting, rather than viewing it as a 'hobby'? I spent ten years training, achieving a grade beneath Kate Winslot and then stopped to concentrate on a 'normal education'
More important than those 'what -ifs' though is whether i should have continued with english, rather than choosing psychology? I love psychology, yet here i am doing a business course after all the work of getting my 1.1 degree.
Did i choose the wrong path? considering my aspirations for both being a writer and my longtime love of english? I remember thinking that psychology would benefit me as a writer, as i could truly explore motivations etc of my characters. I certainly don't regret going down this path but i wonder what the other path would have been like?
I guess these thoughts have shown up again because i've been tidying my room and found my old english essays from 1st year of university. My tutor always gave me high praise and i remember telling him i was dropping english and him looking at me like i had three heads as he began to tell me i would be mad to drop english!
This thought also occurs to me when i read the bios of many authors, although i know there are as many writers out there without english degrees as with, i often wonder have i hindered myself by not continuing along that english path?
Do BA and MAs in creative writing or fiction writing help / work?