Wednesday, October 27, 2010

So you think you're a vampire Eh?


So anyone who reads YA (or has YAs) will have no doubt recognising the following:

Girl meets boy. Girl fancies boy. Boy fancies girl. . . for lunch. Girl finds out Boy is vampire (or other supernatural thing). Girl is even more attracted. Girl almost dies as result of boy being in life. Boy saves the day. Boy and girl live happily ever after.


Hmmmm. . . so Mr. Boy, let's call you Edward for easiness sake, shall we?

You think you're a vampire?

Well I'd like to introduce you to a little thing called Renfield's syndrome aka 'clinical vampirism'.

The term was coined by Richard Noll, author and clinical psychologist, and comes from Dracula's insect eating assistant (now if he called it 'Dracula's syndrome' we'd have all heard of it). Of course Renfield had the lovely habit of eating bugs believing the had essential life force.

This condition is a mental disorder but is not categorised in DSM IV (mental health bible) but is seen as part of schizophrenia (So, Edward you say you hear voices?) or paraphilia (no comment on this one *cough*comparing smell of blood to heroin*cough*).

Symptoms include:
  • The craving for blood as you believe it gives you life enhancing powers (So Edward you believe you sparkle in the sun, are immortal, could take Buffy in a fight and still have a fabulous mop of hair at 108?)
  • Primarily males suffer this.
  • Usually an event occurs where ingestion of blood occurs in childhood, and then as puberty hits it becomes exciting/sexual arousing. (Now, what did that Doctor do when you were half dying and your friends and family died from spanish flu?)
  • Often starts with autovampirism (no thanks i don't want to know) before moving on to the blood of other creatures (Is this what you mean when you refer to being a 'vegetarian'?). Before moving onto final stage. . . humans (aka Bella, right?)
  • Often not seen as influenced by fiction or mythical creatures, but by being sexual aroused by blood (So the first girl you have ever been attracted has blood that is irresistible to you?)
Hmmmm. . .

So what is my advice?

Run. Bella. Run.

Mwaahahahahahahahahaha


3 comments:

Chanelle said...

Haha. Loved this.

Rebecca said...

This is so fascinating. I love it. It's dark, creepy, and that much more awesome because it's REAL and totally believable in this weird world. I sort of wish somebody would write a novel about a character who actually has a mental disorder like this.

Emily Cross said...

@Chanelle - Thanks :)

@ Rebecca - I've thought about this alot from both the 'supernatural being' side and the 'normal girl who believes she's been chosen' side. At some point I hope to write a psychological novel (not necessarily vamps) but based on PR template. Alas don't think I have skill to write it yet though lol. Knowing my luck someone will before me.

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