Tuesday, November 9, 2010

DarkShines: Favourite Sentence Snippets

I'm working away on chapter 1 of DarkShines - It's alot of work, but after making ten drafts of the first two paragraphs, changing the structure and getting lots of feedback - it STILL feels HACK!?!

Anyhoo, always the optimist (yeah right) there are some lines which I thought *fair deuce* (and have probably been written before). Still I thought I might be nice to post the odd one here and see what your thoughts are (or not).

Hell, I might even make this a weekly meme thing that others can part take in. Post a sentence from your WIP. Get some traffic going, without 'publishing' or giving away too much.

Let me know if you're interested awesome readers?

Back to the point, Here is my first snippet [but not the opening line]:

"She was finally beginning to realise something was wrong. They always did in the end. But it was always too late.
She was dead – she just didn’t know it yet."

Hope you enjoyed that - short and sweet :)

P.S. Why am I so cheerful? Because I've moved (yesterday) away from the evil one and into a lovely new place (which needs to be bleached aka Domestosised) where I can still see my lovely tree and even have a balcony now. Wahoo! Lesson learnt - life's too short to put up with someone elses drama or passive aggressiveness!


Anne R. Allen said...

Major congrats on escaping the flat-mate drama.

Your snippet intrigues. But I might suggest opening with "She was dead--she just didn't know it yet." Great line.

Emily Cross said...

@Anne Thanks. Actually this sin't the first line at all. It's about 400 words into the piece. The first line is:

Sitting in the car, The Monster waited - watching.

LauraCassidy said...

Great excerpt! Also LOVE the first line.

Congrats on new house... :)

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